The Illegetimacy Of Marriage
by Eogrus
Summary: Wendy is tired of Dipper's molestations, so she comes up with an evil plan!


Wendy was reading a magazine. It was a gay porn magazine, because she was very horny. It stared Damien Crosse fucking a random japanese boy, whom she did not care about, only that he was nice to masturbate to. She was masturbating on the shack bathroom - she didn't feel like leaving. Suddenly, she heard a bump on the door: someone was spying her! She dressed herself and found Dipper with his pants down, fapping his one inch circumsized cock furiously.

"DIPPER! WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU!?"

"What the Hell's wrong with me!? What the Hell's wrong with YOU? You still haven't surrendered your pussy!"

Dipper grinned a perverted rapist grin and reached to try to finger Wendy, only to be rightfully kicked in his prepubescent gonads. She then punched the horny little bastard in the face, knocking out several molars. Dipper whimpered pathetically as he went to clean his mouth, and so Wendy felt sorry for him, but she kept her guard because he tried pity to rape her many times.

"All I want is for you to love me. Is that something too hard to ask for?"

"Hell yes! I'm not a pedophile, you know, and even if I was I would never lower myself to such a manipulative molesting bastard as you!"

"You're right, I'm sorry I behaved like an asshole. Will you give me one more chance?" he asked with puppy eyes.

Wendy thought about it. Then a light bulb emitting a hellish red light appeared on her head.

"You know what? If you want me so much, why don't you marry me?"

Dipper's jaw almost dropped. Wendy, who rejected his violating advances, wanted to marry him!?

"R-really!?"

"Yeah, sure, if you're not going to give up, I might as well cave in."

"S-so, when do you want to do it?" asked Dipper still shocked.

"How about now? Grunkle Stan is officially allowed to perform marriages. He has married many woodpeckers in the shack."

"I'll go dress myself!" said Dipper, running out of the bathroom shouting praises to God and all infernal demons.

Wendy got out of the bathroom and went to the living room. Grunkle Stan was dressed in an old wife beater and striped undearwear, both with decades old shit and cum stains. He was drinking a black coffee, and watching super secret Judy Garland porn tapes.

"Hey Stan, can you marry me an Dipper?"

Stan spat all the coffee out, and barfed for good measure, vomiting up old woman's boobs and rotten placentas.

"Why the hell do you want to marry my nephew!? Are you a pedo or something?"

"Oh, you know, since he's always trying to rape me, I figured out I might as well conceede. Besides, if he marries me, many of my father's properties may be left to you..."

Stan thought about it. He saw Wendy like Ra sees Sekhmet: a daughter. A manipulative, deceitful, agressive, redheaded, evil, murderous, psychotic, narcissist, perverted, demented daughter, but a daughter nonetheless. He can't have her marry some daft punk, let alone Dipper, whom he sees as a son. That'd be incest! But the promise of money is tempting. His loins begin to stirr, his wrinkly old cock erecting just by thinking about all the money he'll have from that Manly Dan closet case!

"Fine, I'll marry you two perverts!"

"Oh yeah!" said Mabel bursting through the wall, dressed in demonic red.

"Awesome! I always told Dipper trying to rape you would be a great idea!" said Soos mexicanly.

Wendy now knew who to murder and throw off in the sewers, but for now she'd play up her plan. Dipper arrived quickly down the stairs, dressed up in the most gentlemanly way possible. He was carrying the gold rings tenderly, tears running down his eyes from happiness. Mabel played up the wedding music, and threw flowers everywhere, some of them consumed by Soos, who had an allergy to flowers so he vomited blood violently on the carpet. Because there were no parents around, Dipper grabbed Wendy's hand, both walking their way to the altar, Grunkle Stan's armchair. He grabbed a Bible, and read Revelation.

"'And I gave her space to repent of her fornication, and she repented not!' Dipper, will you take this cunt as you wife, to be her pussy-whipped mongrel for the rest of your miserable life?"

"Yes!"

"And you Wendy, are you seriously considering going through with this? He's at the very least 4 years younger than you! He probably doesn't even have pubs!"

"I made up my mind, Stan."

"Very well, you're now husband and wife in the eyes of the law. You may kiss while inwardly meditating on how pedo marriage is a-okay in America while a same-sex marriage isn't."

Wendy lowered herself, allowing Dipper to kiss her. He did exactly as she predicted, lustfully intruding his tongue on her barely opened mouth and rubbing his hands all over her ginger face. She still felt a pang of violation and wrongness, but it'd all be worth it in the end. Mabel cried tears of happiness, anxious about the bouquett. Wendy satisfied her wish and threw a bouquett carelessly into the air, breaking the window. Mabel followed the roses, but saw that they were already caught by the gnomes!

"Well well, if you want this bouquett you might desire to marry me" winked the perverted rapist gnome in a suggestive and creepy way.

"Oh look, a beautiful rapeful wife!" pointed Mabel.

"WHERE!?" stared the gnomes evilly, drolling like the pitiful sex starved closeted dogs they are.

But there was no wife, and the Mabel bashed the evil gnome skulls with a hammer, and took the bouquett for herself. But Wii, the Lakota sun god, didn't like that deceitful sociopathic little girl, so he cursed her... he sent a sunray that began to burn Mabel's pussy!

"AAAAAAHHHH MY PUSSY IS ON FIRE!"

"No, it is LIGHT!" shouted Wii angrily, "For that HERE'S ANOTHER ONE!"

Mabel made a run for the shack, but it was too late! The pussy became cancerous, tumours quickly forming and spreading across her body! Soon, Mabel was nothing more than a tumour shaped like a little girl, no natural cells remaining, so she died. Wii laughed at her patheticness, picked the bouquett, and gave it to it's real owner... BILL CYPHER!

Wendy and Dipper went upstairs. They didn't speak about it, but the way Dipper grinned sexily and groped her ass and legs clearly meant one thing. Once they got upstairs, Dipper began to undress himself.

"Let's consumate our marriage, my love" Dipper said in an attempt at a suave voice, removing his blazer and white shirt to reveal his twelve year old torso.

Wendy swallowed up the bile, and began to undress herself. She didn't even have her shirt completly removed and Dipper's hands were already caressing her bra covered breasts, groping and playing with them like squishy toys. Wendy used all her willpower to prevent herself from killing this nymphomaniac pervert, licking and sucking her bra, drooling so much that she felt the saliva in her nipples, even though the bra was meant to be waterproof. Seeing the erection so pathetically constricted in the tight pants, Wendy took a deep breath and unbuttoned Dipper's pants, exposing his ruptured underwear. His little cock was oozing precum so much that she wondered if lube would ever be a consideration.

With immense self hatred, Wendy took off her bra, exposing her dark nipples. Dipper looked just like Christmas came early, licking and sucking on the breasts with such fervor that Wendy could already feel the mammary glands begin working and producing milk!

"Mm my love your breasts taste like white chocolate!" moaned Dipper with much pleasure.

It was time to put the second part of her plan in motion.

"How about you lick my pussy now?" said Wendy, pretending to be interested.

Dipper didn't even said anything and rapidly unbuttoned her pants, ripping the thong underneath off like a beast. He quickly licked and sucked on her clitoris, biting and playing with her labia majora. Wendy kept silent, supressing mentally every sensation. Dipper was confused by this, but didn't care much, and instead ripped the rest of his underwear off and fucked Wendy at full speed, wanting to satisfy his desires. Her vagina was a tad loose, but Dipper didn't care - for it was the first one he fucked anyways -, and humped and thrusted viciously like a dog, securing on Wendy's leg for leverage. Wendy, by contrast, was readying The Chaldean Oracles, completly unaffected by the fuckery. Dipper grunted in frustration, but he ceased to care, savouring the delicious desire that his ambitions long craved for. His penis was wonderuflly massaged by the vaginal walls, secretely covered by a condom because Wendy knew Dipper wouldn't even consider one. After a few minutes, Dipper began feeling his balls contract.

"Wendy...my..love..I..CUM!" he groaned, moaned and grunted.

A fllod of thick cum erupted from his cock into Wendy's well protected vagina, exhausting the young sweaty boy, who fell off the bed into the floor.

"That was amazing!" said Dipper, not believing that his dreams came true!

"Oh, you actually fucked me? I didn't even notice!" said Wendy in feigned anger.

"WHAT!? Y-you didn't notice?"

"Hell yeah! If I did, wouldn't you think I'd be reading prehistoric greek literature!? Get your ass up here and satisfy your wife, Dipper Pines!"

Dipper sighed, but he quickly smiled. His lust for the gingerhead in the bed was so intense that his penis quickly erected again, ready for another round of satisfying the prize well earned. He got on the bed and inserted his penis again, fucking at full speed in a matter of thrusts.

"Yeah, I'm still not feeling anything" grunted Wendy.

Damnit! Dipper grabbed her boobs, massaging them and pinching the nipples.

"Ouch! That hurt Dipper! Are you a domestic abuser!?"

Dipper visibly whinced. He had to be careful, or else he'd end up in jail! He kept his pace, laying on Wendy's body. He felt his climax arriving, and he was unsuccessful to stop it, cumming again in the condommed pussy.

"Dipper, you have fucked me two times and I still haven't felt anything! Are you using me as an object of your passions, no concern for me as a person?"

"N-no Wendy, I'll try something!"

Dipper withrew and kneedled on the bed. He had to think of something quick! He fingered Wendy's pussy and licked her clitoris, but she still was feeling as much pleasure as a statue. He massaged all over her body, from her armpits to the soles of her feet, but he was met with indifference, grunts and disgusted slaps. Out of desesperation, he fingered her anus. It was very tight and constricting his finger viciously, cutting the blood flow almost to the point of numbness, but Wendy seemed to respond with some soft mutters. Encouraged, Dipper positioned himself on Wendy's ass and introduced his penis there, fucking it. It was unbelivably tight and he almost orgasmed just in a few thrusts, but the anus was constricting his dick viciously, threatning to cut it off!

"AAAAAHHHHH! Wendy, what gives!?"

"First you must rim me, then I may consider allowing you to sodomise me."

Frustrated, Dipper withrew, and kneeled, licking Wendy's purple anus with curious satisfaction, whilst fapping. In a way, it was kind of kinky and arousing.

"Oh Dipper, your tongue is divine" lied Wendy in very realistic moans.

Truth to be told, she was almost numb in her ass, but the deception was about to pay off. With a few more bowel movements, and bam!

"Wendy what are you - mmfrghfhgrh!"

Wendy forced Dipper's head up her ass, her sphincter swallowing most of his face beneath the eyes, including the entire nose. First, a noxious cloud of methane emptied from her bowels into Dipper's nostrils and down his lungs, breathing toxic farts that melted off his olphactory tissues and made his eyes cry bitter tears as his lungs burned. Then it was followed by putrid diarrhea that followed the same path, as well as down Dipper's mouth, so foul that Dipper felt an imeadiate urge to vomit, but couldn't due to the sheer flow flowing down his esophagus. Finally, large turds entered through his mouth and down his trachea, blocking his respiratory system. Wendy thought it was enough, and let her suffocating husband get off her ass and into the ground, coughing shit and blood violently in a desesperate attempt to breathe, twitching agressively as the lack of oxygen began to take it's effect. His cock was still erect, largely to the high blood pressure, ejaculating copious amounts of watery seed.

Wendy smiled. Her ass was externally completly clean, everything going down Dipper's respiratory and digestive tracts. Feeling in the mood for some pleasure, she grabbed an yaoi magazine.

Wendy was reading some sports magazines. Dipper went to the hospital, and as soon as he gained consciousness he begged for a divorce, which Grunkle Stan reluctantly granted. The poor bastard was described by Stanford as "traumatised" and "never touching a women in my entire life again!", which made Wendy extremely happy. Now there was a final weak link to dismember.

"Hi Wendy" said Soos.

"How's your allergy going?"

"Eh, the doctor said I shouldn't eat anything but jelly for a few days, you you know how that won't stop me!"

"I know, that's why I made you a welcome cake!" said Wendy, showing a chocolate cake.

"Dude, thanks! I love those cakes!"

Soos swallowed greedily, not noticing capsules in the cake. He devoured everything in a manner of seconds, and went outside to pay hue to his disgusting digestive habits. Unfortunately for him, the capsules took effect instantly: they were immodium capsules, completly and utterly sealing his intestines. Soos screamed as his gases became trapped in his own body, and thus he barfed up violently, offending Wii. The sun god sent a Wakynian down to get revenge, and the thunder bird striped Soos naked.

"No! Please, I'll do anything!"

"Afraid not" said the bird, "Violation is the only remedy!"

And thus Soos was sodomised violently by a phallus of lighting, electrocuting his body, frying him completly.

"Thanks dude" said Wendy, handing the divine bird a membership card.

"You're welcome" smirked the bird, who returned to Heaven.

Wendy smiled. All molestors were finally gone, and her body was hers alone. 


End file.
